Standing on the Edge of Desire

This is exactly how I feel right now.

Drop your pen, Take your fingers off the keyboard

(11/17/09 blog post)

For my free choice blog post, I am choosing to write about how I cannot write anymore (current state, not forever...hopefully). I love to write and used to be a Creative Writing Major, but it's really important for me to be creative while I write and I can't be creative when I feel rushed. When I am not being creative I get frustrated and erase everything that I had just written. "Writer's Block" is definitely common. And I think that I have it just about now. This semester was great, but it has drained me completely and I need some time to rest and write only when I want to write.

Blogging is excellent, and I say this genuinely (even though I don't really wish to be blogging now). A blog can be used as a channel to portray one's opinions, as a stress-reliever to express thoughts, and as a canvas to write original pieces. But because of the fact that blogging goes hand in hand with publishing your writing--in cyberspace...one should definitely think before he/she writes--that's why it's hard when it's forced.

Boston Legal- Vocabulary

(11/10/09 blog post)

Boston Legal

1. Prong

2. Shock Jock

3. Rancours

The context of these words wasn't very helpful in giving clues about their meaning. I wanted to pick a show that I never watch- like Boston Legal- in order to be exposed to new language, but it was hard for me to follow and understand the episode because I was not aqcuinted with the storyline. I understood the general legal procedures but could not follow and comprehend the legal terms and the many unfamiliar words that were mentioned. Out of these three words, I think that I have only heard the word "prong" before. I usually try to look up the definition of any unknown word that I encounter and cannot recall hearing the words "shock jock" and "rancours".

The definitions of the above words are:

1. Prong: one of the pointed tins of a fork.

I think that I expected the word "prong" to be some kind of sharp object because it has a sharp sound to it.

2. Shock Jock: a radio disc jockey or host who features offensive or controversial material.

I figured that the word "shock jock" had something to do with a disc jockey because it has the word "jock" in it. It's interesting that this word has a pretty clear meaning:
Shock= offensive or controversial material
Jock= Jockey.

3. Rancours: bitter, rankling resentment or ill will; hatred; malice.

The word "rancours" sounded like it was describing a mess or chaos, and its definition isn't a far stretch because it definitely has a negative denotation (being rancours could indeed cause chaos).

The Second Exam

(11/3/09 blog post)

I thought that the second exam was more difficult than the first one. The questions seemed a bit vague, and once again, because the study guide was pretty general, I didn't really know what to focus on and just studied everything, even though much of what I studied wasn't even on the test.

I felt that this exam, however, was fairly graded. I appreciated the elimination of the fill in the blank section and was grateful for the curve that we received in our grades.

Just Listen

(11/3/09 blog post)

I closed my eyes at the library and listened to my surroundings. First of all, I find that when you temporarily cease using one sense (like sight), your other senses (like hearing)-- become sharper. The library is pretty quite, but as I shut my eyes I could distinctively hear many different sounds:

- Typing
- Mouse clicking
- Turning pages of books
- Ringing of keys
- Footsteps
- Whispering
- Quite giggling and laughter
- Music coming from earphones
- Cellphones ringing on vibrate mode

I knew what was going on around me because I have been to the library many times and have heard the above familiar sounds before. I didn't realize, however, how many sounds can be contained in a typically quiet place such as the library-- mostly because when my eyes are open I focus on a plethora of things, other than just sound.

It is Because I Said So- Persuasion In a Nutshell.

(10/20/09 blog post)

Communication is not always intended to be persuasive, but I think that there is an element of persuasion in all communication-- because it's all about choice. We choose the words and gestures that we use with specific motives in mind (a form feedback, a desired outcome).

For example, when we tell a joke-- we are trying to persuade someone that what we just said is funny and worth laughing at!

Even when we communicate for informational purposes, we choose to inform about a certain subject and present it in a certain way, from our own perspective and frame of reference. We also constantly seek to establish our credibility in our communication, which is definitely a form of persuasion.

"Everyone believes...in how they think it ought to be"

(10/20/09 blog post)

First of all, I strongly believe in genuineness. I think that it's extremely important to voice your opinions, and tell others how you feel because there is nothing worse than being a liar or a fake person. Do not conform to others' standards or expectations because you are the person that you are for a reason-- it's essential to be your own self and preserve your uniqueness. Learn from others but never lose a hold of your identity.

Secondly, life definitely tests us to see how we endure in situations and to foster personal growth. The notion of "everything happens for a reason", though it can be looked upon as a cliche, is definitely a belief of mine. The movie Sliding Doors illustrates this very clearly. We go through so many different experiences in our lives, meet specific people, make decisions, and go to certain places at certain times--then we live the outcome. How many times have you wondered-- "WHY?"

- Why I was accepted to a certain university but not the other?
- Why was this person assigned to be my roommate out of all the students who live on campus?

We often can't see or understand the reason that things happen to us, but along the way--when we look at the big picture, we can realize that all the small details tie together in a certain way.

- That university provided you with a great job opportunity...
- Or, that person who was assigned as your roommate (and you didn't know if you would get along in the beginning) ended up becoming one of your best friends...

[Boundaries, please]

(10/13/09 blog post)

In Freshman year, me and two other girls lived in a triple room on campus. The dorm room was extremely small and we shared a bathroom with two additional girls (our suitemates) so there was not much personal space. One of the roommates violated my own personal space by constantly leaving her personal belongings such as her hairbrush and her textbooks on my desk--which I found to be disrespectful since we had very little personal space as it is and it seemed selfish and inconsiderate not to care about anyone else's comfort in that unaccommodating living environment.

When that same roommate started inviting her best friend to stay over every day and practically let her move into our dorm, it became even more uncomfortable and I opted to switch dormrooms. We all need some sort of personal space and privacy, and if we feel that we have a lack of it, we tend to seek it elsewhere.

Uhhh...I'm right here

(10/13/09 blog post)

I was sitting in the library with a friend--she was using a laptop to type an assignment and I was studying for a test and texting on my phone, while we conversed. Obviously, we were too distracted by multitasking to look each other in the eye while we talked. I noticed that I was constantly asking her to repeat what she said because I wasn't paying full attention. When she repeated her thoughts the second time around, I looked her in the eye and found that it helped me take in the information more effectively.

I also noticed that my friend looked away from her laptop when she spoke to me in order to keep eye contact, and when I didn't provide eye contact in turn-- she looked at me with an agitated expression on her face that automatically made me realize that she was seeking my full attention. It is pretty strange not to have eye contact while communicating with the person in front of you.

The First Exam

(10/6/09 blog post)

I thought that the first exam was confusing. The multiple choice and fill in the blank questions were not on the material that I studied, so I found them to be difficult. The short answer questions, however-- were clear, relevant and to the point. I could definitely explain what I learned by answering those questions.

I would appreciate a more specific study guide so that I can know what to focus on when preparing myself for future exams. I felt like the study guide for the first exam encompassed a lot of material-- but then much of what I studied wasn't even on the test, and instead there was other information, which I hadn't encountered anywhere.

I find that the first exam in every class can be challenging because you don't know what to expect...every professor has a different style, and being aware of that specific style really helps when studying for an exam in a certain class.

Picture This

(10/6/09 blog post)

Some of the factors that have a significant impact on my understanding and my ability to remember as a listener are:

- The presentation of the material
- My interest level in the specific topic
- The speaker and the language that he/she is using
- The listening environment
- My alertness

These factors can both facilitate or interfere with my listening abilities, depending on the situation.

I am a very visual person so visual illustration really keeps my attention and engages me in the material. When I study for exams, for example-- I often rewrite the material. This method triggers my memory and helps me recall the location in which I wrote the specific information down, and then remember exactly what I wrote. My stress level and attention span are also major factors that determine my understanding and remembering abilities. If I have a lot of things on my mind and need to focus and remember everything that I have to do, I try to prioritize and make lists-- which really helps me when I am feeling overwhelmed.

Also, if I feel like I did not gain full understanding in a listening situation, I seek reinforcement- I ask for the speaker to repeat what he/she said, use any available material that may guide me (For example, in a classroom environment- notes on the board), or mentally visualize what I heard in order to understand and remember it more clearly.

Free choice blog post. Emphasis on the "Free"

Everyone is blogging about the semester coming to an end.

I honestly think that it has been a hell of a semester.
-- in a good way :) I enjoyed it.
(And meeting some great people in our class).

But I also can't help but be...

So excited that it's almost over!!



Freedom

PS. I'm not going on vacation (I wish I were) but being off for a month and having time to do things other than reading textbooks, working on group presentations, and writing papers
is good enough for me!

What are everyone's plans for winter break??

Listening Course- Overview

When I saw that this Listening course was required for my Communication Studies major, I wasn't really shocked and did not really question why we had to study this subject. I've always thought that it's important to know how to listen-- for everybody, and even more essential for people who plan to build a career that involves communications. What did interest me, however, was how we would go about learning listening. In my other communication studies courses this semester the "how" part was pretty much a given:

Communication Theory- you learn through theories.
True. The key word was THEORY. We read theories.

Public Speaking- you practice and improve by speaking in public.
Yup, SPEAKING. We performed speeches. Done.

Listening- uh? Hmm. You...listen...to...each...other..?
Not so much.

We presented, we discussed, we read, we wrote. And, yes- of course- we also listened.

I think that this course increased my knowledge of the broad spectrum of listening. I never knew there were so many categories that defined this subject (critical listening, appreciative listening, comprehensive listening, etc.). I also feel that it made me more aware of my own listening behavior and encouraged me to understand that you can never improve enough while working on becoming a good listener.

In my opinion, learning through applying the concepts that we were taught would have made this course better. I remember the first day of class when we discussed resolving and enhancing a specific listening situation. Our professor gave us the "GAP scenerio"-- which was basically all about improving listening in a work environment (between employees and their boss). We discussed the hypothetical situation and assigned imaginary characters, who each had a personal motive and listening style. It was interesting and relevant to our lives. It made us interact, as a classroom, on the first (awkward) day of class. And, It intrigued me, personally, to learn more about listening.

I would have liked to do more listening exercises like that rather than constantly read and write about listening. I think that learning the concepts and reflecting about them in writing is good, but engaging in interactive, relevant, two-way listening (while being aware of your listening purposes) encourages greater Hearing, Understanding, Remembering, Interpreting, Evaluating, and Responding (the aspects that comprise the HURIER listening model that we learned).

I think that would have made us listen even more.

Also, I feel like this course condensed too much material, which was a bit repetitive and overwhelming. I think we could have used that time to further learn, engage in, and improve upon the essential aspects of the listening process.

Rhythm Is a Dancer

I consider rhythm as completely essential while working out. When exercising, rhythm from within is persistence to push yourself and let your energy flow and it's essential for me to reach a balance of having the same rhythm within as I do outside- around me. It's like having a double source of motivation. When I work out at the gym I listen to upbeat, encouraging music that flows well with my movement. Anything that makes me want to dance, jump, or run fits that criteria...which is a pretty broad selection.

I also like going on really long walks, and when I do-- I usually like to listen to meaningful music that has deep, contemplative lyrics, which trigger my thoughts and emotions (and obviously vary according to my mood). I can never walk on a track-- to me, it just feels like walking in empty circles. I need to have color and substance and to be able to soak up my surroundings. I walk through nature in a park, or in the urban environment of the streets around my town and take it as my personal time to inhale life into my lungs (and exhale any unnecessary, negative elements that I may be dealing with). To zoom into my own experiences and also look at the bigger picture of the world around me.

Sweet Sounds of Childhood

My childhood was full of sounds.

I can specifically recall the sound of my mother's high heeled shoes clicking towards the entrance of our apartment and then the sound of her keys turning in the keyhole. Since my mom was a single mother, who worked long hours and often went on business trips, I would always wait to hear the sounds signaling her return. I would immediately get a rush of comfort, happiness, and love hearing these sounds because I knew my mother was finally home and it made me feel safe.

Another sound that played a major role in my childhood was laughter. I remember how my friends and I would make each other laugh so hard that we would end up rolling on the floor, gasping for air. I can recall the sound of my father's car pulling up to pick me up for the weekend, his favorite (Israeli) music playing inside, and then the two of us driving together-- singing loudly bits and pieces of kids' songs and lyrics that we made up.

Music was always prominent in my childhood. I remember the sound of the music that I would dance to in my ballet and jazz classes, as well as listening to my mom's music blasting from the stereo- classics like Madonna, Michael Jackson, Celine Dion, Barbara Streisand, and other oldies, which I would be dancing and jumping to at any given moment on our living room couch. My first CD was Mariah Carey's "#1's" and I would listen to it repetitively- over and over and over again. I still have it and remember every lyric. I would also listen to the Spice Girls and the Backstreet Boys with my friends. I remember the sound of my mother playing piano flowing to my ears as a child. She rarely played, but I loved it when she did.

The sound of airplanes taking off was instilled in my mind since I often traveled overseas with my mother. It's a sound that still excites me just as much as it did when I was a child.

Oddly enough, the sound of traffic and cars would always (and still does) calm me down because I lived in a city environment through most of my childhood. I remember that once I moved from New York City to New Jersey when I was 14 years old, it was difficult for me in the beginning to fall asleep to nature sounds like birds chirping because I was so accustomed to hearing traffic noises.

I remember the sound of my grandparents' old fashioned living room clock and how I always associated it with rest- because I would sit, quietly play, and listen to it tick while they would take their usual Saturday afternoon nap.

Other sounds that I distinctly, and pleasantly remember from my childhood are the recess bell at school, the doorbell ringing at my house (my next door neighbor, who was also my best friend, would always come to invite me to play at her house), my grandmother's voice- she is one of my favorite people in this whole world, and my grandmother's neighbor who would always (and still does) ring the doorbell at my grandma's apartment in a multiple sequence so my grandmother could recognize that it's her.

Today, I pretty much enjoy the same sounds, which have only evolved in accordance to my own "grown-up" preferences and lifestyle. I still love listening to music- on the radio, my ipod, my computer, while going out, etc. Ocean waves have always been a favorite sound of mine because when I lived in Israel, the beach was a short driving distance from my house and I used to go very often...I still crave living by the ocean. Laughter is definitely a sound that I still cannot, and never intend to, live without.

All the sounds that I discussed bring back so many sweet, nostalgic memories and make me really happy...I think that this is exactly what listening should be about!

A Cure for Boredom

If I have control over a situation and find it to be boring, then I usually make it interesting in order to sustain my own and others' attention- I change the subject of a redundant conversation by describing an interesting experience that I had or tell a joke and make the people around me laugh and feel good instead of drowning in boredom.

If I do not have any control over a "boring" situation then I try to focus on a specific aspect of the situation that might be of slight interest to me and I attempt to relate to it. Relating to the situation makes me focus more and be more attentive. It is often challenging to sustain one's attention when suffering from boredom, but I just try to make the most out of it and grasp onto little sparks of information in order to tie together the bigger picture. I often visualize what is being said and use my imagination to create an interesting story around it in order to pay attention, understand, and remember what I am listening to. I always make an effort to be respectful, so- even if I am bored- I do my best to be attentive.

Is There a Quota for Multi-Tasking?

I sat in class yesterday and felt completely stressed and overwhelmed, thinking of everything that is currently going on in my life.

While thinking and stressing over what I have to do, I was actually supposed to listen to speeches that were being performed by my classmates. I wanted to be attentive and supportive for them, so, even though it was challenging, I pressed pause on everything that wasn't related to the current moment. As my "to do" list was still screaming in the back of my mind for my attention, I took a deep breath and urged myself to concentrate.

Just as I tuned back into my classmates' speeches, a girl in my class walked up to the podium and began her speech: "the purpose of my speech is to inform the class about ways to deal with stress..."

LIFE-101

Okay, so here's the deal. We have all these General Education classes (also known as "Gen-Eds") that we must take in order to fulfill all of the requirements to earn a Bachelor's degree. Understandable. And yes, I know that many of you do not see the purpose of taking these classes. I mean, really, why should an Art History major take BIOL-101 (Biological Sciences)? Or, how come a student pursuing a degree in Economics needs to sit through not one, but TWO College Writing classes (ENWR-105, ENWR-106)?!?

Personally, and don't attack me please, I see these Gen-Ed requirements as a way to help us become well-rounded individuals.

Think about it for a moment. How can you be a writer if you know nothing other than spelling, grammar, and writing techniques? What will you write about?

How can you become a successful businessman (or woman) without mastering the art of public speaking? What will happen when you need to make presentations for large corporations? (and no, not every presentation involves a PowerPoint. You do realize that People will judge your speaking patterns, the words that you choose, and your confidence level while you make a speech, right?).

Besides, we are mostly provided with general categories that each offer a multiple number of courses to choose from in order to complete a certain requirement. There must be some course under the broad category of "Social Science" that interests each one of us, don't you agree? And you know that you actually did end up enjoying that yoga class. :)

I will admit, though, that some of our required Gen-Ed classes are taught in ridiculous ways that result in no learning whatsoever and, therefore, really do become unnecessary.

So I propose a more beneficial way of learning. Taking classes that will help us in everyday life as responsible, intelligent adults. Montclair State University, Rub your mind against this: instead of requiring the (often, dull, exasperating) course "New Student Seminar" for all incoming Freshmen (which, by the way, sometimes tempts them to put on their running shoes and run right down MSU's hill and off to a different university), you might do a better service by offering a course that will teach time management skills, critical thinking (and thinking outside the box, if we are finally talking about the important, broad topic of "thinking"), networking methods, and how to effectively work in group settings. Or how about the basics of choosing and establishing a career from the ground up? Isn't that what we all intend to do? And, just for the record, the knowledge and skills that I am discussing here are not learned from a text book nor from power point presentations but from discussions and personal knowledge and experience.

Not only would these skills help us all in life, but they would also provide us with basic knowledge that can act as a solid ground in almost all college courses.

There is so much information that can be taught in order to prepare us for the "real world." Yes, we need to know basic math and writing skills, but aren't basic life skills just as important?

*Hands pressed to my ears* I Can't Heard You

I went to a holiday dinner this past Friday night for Rosh Hashanah- the Jewish New Year. Family friends hosted the dinner at their apartment in New York City and we were 18 people sitting around the table, eating and chatting.

Then, my host started voicing his opinions about politics...and other topics that we do not particularly agree on.

I listened for a while, and we held a short debate.

I finally realized that we weren't reaching any sort of agreement or even a mutual understanding.

But my host continued talking. Trying to convince other guests about his dominant beliefs. (While his wife was trying to convince him that he wasn't making sense...)

I automatically shut myself off. Sleep mode. I was looking out the window and then at the people around me, thinking about my plans for the next day--doing anything to avoid listening to the conversation and hearing it as merely a source of background noise. This time, however, I was completely aware of what I was doing.

I respect other people and their views and do enjoy intelligent discussions. But sometimes, when conversations come to a complete clash, I think it is best to withdraw yourself. Especially when talking about politics. At the Dinner table. With your host. Proceed with caution.

Learning about listening really does make you more aware to daily interactions, observing the elements of communication, and evaluating your own listening habits. At one point, I found myself smiling to myself, realizing that we really do only desirably listen to what we want to hear, what is compatible with our views, our beliefs, and our morals. We often tend to filter out the rest.

Listening Through Cyberspace

Is this madness helping us listen more or is it distracting us from listening?

Are we becoming more socially available or are we creating a wall in front of our actual physical and emotional being?

Do social networks help expose our personalities or do they end up being a virtual mask, used as an alternative to a handshake or a face to face conversation?

How do we keep our own uniqueness if each one of us is just a face on Facebook?

[Now, what should I log onto first: Blackboard, Webmail, Facebook, Blogger, Twitter, or Gmail? Hmm..please text your opinion]

Introduction

Nice to meet you :) My name is Daisy and I am a Junior at Montclair State University, majoring in Organizational Communications. This blog is purely dedicated to my college Listening course (Fall '09) and I will be updating it on a regular basis.

I think the idea of creating a blog for class (especially a Communication Studies class) is great. Today's leading businesses have established a dominant virtual world through newsletters, networking sites, and professional blogs and being a part of this world is- in my opinion- essential in order to keep up with the fast paced, competitive nature of today's job force. So I think this is a good start.

Other than that, I also think that this is the perfect channel to voice thoughts and opinions. I am excited to discuss topics relevant to this course as well as a variety of issues that interest me.

I look forward to learning about listening through my Listening class since I think that improving as a listener- and not only as a speaker- is essential in order to become a more effective communicator in both my personal life and career path.